Why be so afraid to grow?
They might take me down.
I might come crashing down.
Down you say.
Might you be down now?
Then you know what down is.
You know what down does.
You know the love of down.
Ah, you want to go downer.
Quite natural, I say.
How many of you are deep sea divers,
how many of you are deep soul divers?
You want to dive deeper,
you want to dive downer.
In the depths your rage and my rage are indistinguishable,
your fear and my fear made of the same stuff.
Your love and my love, in love, in love.
Now that you know this, ascend, ok?
Heights are only scary because the depths are (still) calling to you.
Some of my future posts might sound like ‘advice’ on ‘life’. I want to dedicate this post to stating that as a human being I know nothing and that this is an agonising state to be in and at the same time such a relief and so beautiful. See previous post. For this reason anything I write will be in the pursuit of clarity, knowing full well that words will always only be words. For you and for me.
I am feeling self-conscious because I know how easily this type of writing can become a cliché or even a distraction. We all need different things at different times. Distractions can work wonders.
Starting this new year I need: to see words, to share, to connect – and then to go out and immerse myself so deeply in the uncertainty of life that the only words that stick might be “I know nothing”.
What do you need?
This is my home, this ground, this wet soil.
Why did I ever think to upturn my roots in the hope of gaining higher ground,
that is, for the fear of losing ground?
When did I leave the depths to lie face down on the hard parched surface?
When did I decide that the thing to do was to roll over, never look down and instead lift my gaze in the name of aiming for the stars?
Now doesn’t that sound grand.
How did I forget that I don’t need to check up on the sun?
Some say she knows her burning act.
The devil is in the details or is the devil in the dust?
Water this sand with tears and sink.
Away from the stars, away from stardom, don’t blink, don’t think.
Inc. Inc. Bling. Ing.
Do I want to shed a thousand skins or only one?
What can’t my eyes see that I already am?
What can this circle hold?
What can this square become?
There is no point rearranging jars
stored on the shelves in your mind.
Peel off their labels, unscrew their lids.
In time be willing to drop them
one by one
and see them smash on the floor.
Feel the pain as you tiptoe over the shards of glass
and out into what is freedom.
One way to live your life: blow stardust into the desert. Just do it.
Sit back and roar with laughter at the heavens which gave you the breath.
Wait for the echo to come flying back.
Count your fingers just to check you know your numbers and that you have your fingers. Buy some sheep and count those too.
Jam with your eyes closed. Then open them to see the music.
Sip on some tonic. The sun’s already down.