Permission

In case you’re waiting for permission
to be that wild soul you so admire
know
that it’s past due for applications
to be sent in
and anyway
the authorities were told to pack their bags
ultra vires
that’s what we heard
and that’s the good news

oh yes
and then

you might remember
the jacket you first wore
rough and raw
and kind and the world

and then

you might remember

that you are the wild

Love Manifesto

I felt the need to actually write (not just contemplate) this out today. For future reference. For those moments when all other plans, strategies and manifestos are just feeding the confusion until it’s a huge dark and scary tsunami or just a frickin’ brick wall. Maybe you want to write your own love manifesto, because I have a feeling that time and time again we will first go back to all those other clever plans – only to realise that when it comes to terrifying (metaphorical) tsunami waves love is the most solid thing we have.

love manifesto larger version

Mind the window

when the window calls to my eyes I can’t help but go
go to the far end of the sky
go into the mountains and into the wild

this time I take the stale air between us with me
and scatter it across the frozen lake

I navigate through marvellous mazes
where colours keep me high and hopes keep me full

until you touch my knee
and the wind smacks me in the face
as I reluctantly return to this cube
this greyscale landscape
the perfect backdrop
for your disappointed eyes

Old love

twisted and folded
gaps where we’re weathered
rust and mould and heart and soul
stubborn togetherness
far down the road
collections of stories
libraries of kinds of love
part and parcel of what we were told
about growing old and the rush of gold
your hands feel rough
I can see through your eyes
I see the lines on my face
so many lines
shaped by only one life

What to do?

So, you don’t know what to do?

I don’t know what to do to:

  • – always be kind and generous
  • – not hurt people
  • – not be scared so often
  • – keep it together
  • – live the life I (think) I should…
  • – etc.

 

Do you also have a list?
As in:
You don’t know what to do this weekend? You don’t know what to do to earn more money, change your life, become ‘that’ person, feel safe, not be so much of you, keep it smooth, look classy, not get hurt, keep winning, get more likes…..
(fill in the blanks….).

It can become a bit much, this list.
It can obscure our view so badly it seems as if we’re heading into a black hole with no clue what to do. And so we just sit there. And wait for something to happen. Even if it’s the lamest distraction, something can feel better than nothing/the black hole.

In the meantime, this might be something to consider. Toss the list. Even if you don’t have a list, make one just so you can toss it, because the thing is this: you do know stuff. You can do stuff. You have powers.

You know how to call people. People you love. People you are scared of calling. People you need to stand up to.

You know how to listen. Someone else is talking and you are there. Nowhere else. Right there, with what they are saying. That’s it.

You know how to give gifts. No attachments, and (yup) the gift can be for you. Maybe you want to gift yourself a potplant, or you say you are done with all this shopping and are dying to just have a nap. Do it.

Ok, you get the idea. And an idea is all it is. But when abstraction hits again, just know, you have these kinds of superpowers.